I have a definite issue in my life and it involves yardwwork. I love to do it –I hate to do it. Is that what they call bipolar? There is nothing that I love better than to finish a big day in the yard, with the lawn mowed with perfect straight lines, gardens weeded, and driveway hosed off. There is nothing I hate worse than yellow spots, or wind blowing leaves on my lawn. I have been known to hire my children for a dime a leaf after a wind storm. I also hate to admit the fact that every Saturday I purchase a few pieces of sod and I cut out all of the yellow spots and replace them with pieces of sod. Crazy I know. Someone told me that we would not have the yellow spots with male dogs, so our last two dogs have been males, they lied. Or it could be the fact that our dogs pee like girls. No lifting the legs for them.
Since I have gone back to work full time and been caring of my parents, this love hate relationship has leaned more towards the hate spectrum. I just cannot keep it like I want and that drives me crazy. I look at gardening magazines and have some major envy. Of course the yards I love in the magazines are all in Oregon or Seattle, not desert Utah, with two dogs and a husband that does not do yardwork. Some days I drive by the yards with husband out mowing and fiddling in the yard and I have some moments of profound jealousy mixed with a good dose of self pity. But then I think of all the good traits that my wonderful husband has and yardwork does not seem to be on the top of my list of desired qualities. But I can have a moment of “poor me”. Never hurt anyone. My mother used to tell me, If it is so important to me, do it myself or hire someone!!! Never could get her to take my side against Dave. He can do no wrong. So I am going to try very hard to look at the beauty in my yard and not the yellow spots. To look at the things that are right and not the things that are wrong. I am going to realize that after 28 years, Dave does not like yardwork nor does he really care if it is done.
I will quit stressing and hire someone. Life is too short to spend my limited time home, killing myself in the yard. I will make it my haven not my shackles
Just for anyone else out there that stuggles with some of these same issues, I visited my sod supplier Saturday. He so kindly asked my why I come each week and purchase two pieces of sod. I felt such shame, like I was going to a drug dealer. I had started hiding the pieces so no one knew what I was doing. I was living a secret life. I finally came clean and confessed to him what I was doing. He told me that he could “Help Me”. He told me to mix 1 TB of regular vinegar to each quart of water I give the dogs and it would prevent the yellow spots. I have been using it for about 4 days now so it is a little soon to tell. This could be a life changer for me. I will keep you posted. At first they did not want to drink it, but now it does not seem to bother them at all. I am freed from the shackles of my secrets.